She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
