after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
