In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
