I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
