god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
