Little spoons don't ask big questions
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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