mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
3pm strippers are depressing
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
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