Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
