u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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