is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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