Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize