hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
