Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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