Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
