Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
