Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
