i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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