I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
