SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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