There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
