So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
