In the future we'll all be gay
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
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