I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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