We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
