so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
