"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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