Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
