? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
