Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
