all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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