her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
