Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I DEMAND FORESKIN
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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