Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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