About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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