yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
