Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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