How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
