Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I could fuck to npr.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
They have beer where we have blood.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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