I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize