i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
