im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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