I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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