Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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