Have you finally orgasmed yet?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
home. puking in laundry basket.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
