We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
