i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
