we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Randomize
