I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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