Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm passing your future prison.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
