some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
