Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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