haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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