I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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