My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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