He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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