Quick, to the slutcave!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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