You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
