return my video game
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
