I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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